


How You Found Me

by schlieren



Series: How You Found Me [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption, Masturbation, Plot With Smut, Smut, novel length fanfic, romance does happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-12-06 10:22:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11598645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schlieren/pseuds/schlieren
Summary: When Rey finds herself unexpectedly stranded on a planet, she is faced with either accepting the help of the one person she cannot stand or suffering an icy death. With more to their relationship than what's on the surface, both will need to make some difficult choices along the way.Story is very smut heavy starting from chapter 2 on wards.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not very good at summaries, I hope the one I wrote was enough to get you interested enough to give it a try! This is my first Star Wars fanfiction...unless you count some terrible Han and Luke adventure fanfics I wrote in the late 90s after getting in to Star Wars when I was 10.. They were painfully too similar to The Crystal Star for my liking. This is only my second fiction to feature smut. Please let me know what you think about it. Critics are always appreciated and I love comments.
> 
> Please enjoy!

How You Found Me

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

 

_I don't want to die!_

 

Those were the last thoughts that ran through Rey's head moments before she crashed her fighter down hard on Csilla. She had been en route to Bespin to meet up with Finn when the plane she had unofficially borrowed from Luke started to give her some trouble. It had started out simply. A bit of a tremor to the controls. She had brushed it off to the plane being out of use. Nothing that she couldn't handle.

Next it was the lights. They all turned off at once. From there it was only a matter of time before the life support and functions of the plane all started to fail. Rey tried to put out a distress call. Seven in fact. All were met with stony silence across all wave lengths.

That was the point when she realized that she was going to be having a less than gracious approach. Csilla wouldn't have been her first choice for a crash landing...heck, it wouldn't have been her first choice for anything. She had first pulled out of warp, hoping that it might help with the tremor issue that had started as mild vibrations and had turned into such violent shakes, Rey had a hard time pressing the right sequence of buttons. She was less than pleased to find herself still in the middle of the Unknown Regions according to her nav system. She could only hope that the plane would be able to limp to the closest planet, Csilla as it was.

A planet she knew nothing about, and as the heavy crystal white shimmer came into view, she rather wished that she never had to know anything about it. The ice that was visible from even space covered the entire planet, and gave Rey nothing she felt optimistic about. She grit her teeth and tried yet again to connect to anyone through the coms.

_Please...anyone!_ She pleaded to herself. _Someone help!_ She flicked the distress alert through all channels, but never once got a confirmation notice. She knew she was alone, and that thought terrified her more than then fact that she was about to crash on a desolate looking glacial planet. The plane she was ninety percent sure she could fix once she had it on the ground. It was that last ten percent that had her fearful knowing that no one would know where she was.

Just as she pulled into the planet's atmosphere, almost as if in tune to her mental holds, the last sensor flicked off. The plane ceased to yield to anything she tried. Rey swallowed hard and began emergency protocols. She tightened her straps, checked that her helmet was secure, and prayed that the anti-collision dampers would still activate. This would be her first crash.

If she hadn't been so scared, she might have noticed how stunning the blue of the ice was that was approaching far too quickly. That the tall, unforgiving peaks of ice were unlike anything she had ever seen before. Instead there was only one thought that played on repeat in her mind.

_I don't want to die!_

 

The fighter hit the snow packed ground hard. Rey instantly lost consciousness as her helmeted head banged against the console of the plane. It was probably for the best, Rey couldn't help but muse later. Being unconscious, her body went limp and it didn't fight against the motions of the ship as it bounced and skidded against the icy veneer. She could have been hurt far more than her simple concussion and bruised rips.

The internal anti-collision dampers did release upon impact, the thick air filled pillows burst though the cockpit and engulfed Rey's limp body. They did their job, Rey would live to walk out of the plane... the external dampers didn't fare quite as well. If Rey was conscious, she likely would have grimaced when what was left of her navigation antenna was ripped from the edge of the wing by a low laying ice peak and the landing wheel crumpled beneath them.

Eventually the plane stopped moving and settled into the upturned snow its journey had created. Already the fridge temperatures of the planet played at the metal of the plane and delicate tendrils of frost began to creep along the edges of the cockpit windows. The internal temperature within the fighter began to lower immediately.

That was the first thing Rey would remember about her time of Csilla. When she woke, she was _cold_. Perhaps that was _why_ she woke up, but she couldn't be certain. She had always heard that when people froze to death they actually got warmer and just sleepy. All she could really recall was there was a strong _urging_ , for lack of a better word, that she needed to wake up.

Groggily, Rey tried to get her bearings. Her breath had frosted over the mask of her helmet. She felt disorientated and blind. Struggling against the unyielding fabric around her, Rey somehow managed to remove her helmet and find the deactivation switch for the dampers. They immediately began to deflate. The cockpit window was completely covered in a layer of frost. She could see nothing of her surroundings.

Starting to shake from the cold, Rey blew into her hands and tried to flex them to get the blood moving. Unbuckling herself from the bindings of the seat with one hand, Rey tried to see if any of the preliminary functions of her plane would work at all. Mainly heat....Rey really, _really_ wanted to see if the heat worked.

Despite some creative overrides and moving secondary commands around, the plane's life support refused to turn back on. Sighing, Rey leaned back in the pilot's seat and started the plane's diagnostics to see what was causing the issues. She put her hands under her armpits, trying to get some warmth to them. She watched the sensor bar slowly flicker. It would take a few hours for the plane to fully identify what was wrong. Rey's knee bounced in agitation, she'd be dead by that point if she didn't get some shelter.

With some careful manoeuvring, Rey managed to pull the emergency kit out from behind her seat and started to pile on all the clothes she had brought with her. This equated to her thin linen pants, a long sleeve shirt, another thin linen shirt was pulled over that, she unravelled the long scarf she brought with her and started to wrap it around her head, hoping to keep some of her heat in her body. She moved the material with the skill of someone who's done the motion countless times. Rey couldn't help but smile a bit. She'd never in her wildest dreams imagine that the wrap that she used to keep the piercing sands of Jakku out of her eyes and mouth would be used for the same purpose...but with snow...the exact opposite of sand.

That was when she first realized that the bang to the head had been a little worse than she had imagined. She winced as she brought the thin fabric to her forehead. Her fingers came away wet with blood when she went to explore what had caused her the pain. Rey bit down on her cheek to keep from passing out again. Her whole head started to swim with the touch. Tender as it was, she continued to wrap the material around her head, but was careful to go gently over the front.

She ripped half a meter off of the scarf and began wrapping it around her hands. They were already stiff and hard to move. Rey had a feeling that if she didn't get them warm soon, she might have more things to worry about than not just having a working plane.

With a few deep breaths for courage, Rey pulled the straps of the emergency bag over her shoulders and brought down her pilot goggles over her eyes. Once she had finished checking to make sure that everything was secure and that the plane would keep running its diagnostics, she released the catch on the cockpit door.

Rey was immediately bombarded with pellets of snow and ice. She winced at the pain. The cold was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. She thought she knew what cold felt like when she had been on the Starkiller Base, but that experience paled in comparison to this. She felt the breath ripped from her body by the icy winds. It took every once of her willpower to climb down from the plane and leave in search of shelter.

Her first view of Csilla was a desolate one. Ice of a deep brilliant blue and crystalline snow as far as the eye could see. It would have almost have been pretty to explore around the planet...if she hadn't been so cold. Rey hugged her arms to her body, hoping to conserve some of her heat.

_That's it._ She willed herself. _Just one step forward._ She took a step forward and her leg immediately sank in up to the knee. She fought back a shutter as the snow penetrated her entirely inappropriate pants. She hadn't planned on going for a walk though snow, she was still dressed in the clothes she knew best...ones for the desert. She took another breath and forced herself on. She was more than a little pleased to find out that once she moved away from the fighter, the snow was immensely more stable and she no longer sunk in with every step.

That didn't stop the howling winds from cutting her right to the bone however. She had never been so cold in her life. She could no longer stop her teeth from chattering as she trudged onward. The sky was growing increasingly dark as she moved further and further away from the site of her crash. She hugged her body tighter.

_I need to find shelter....and fast!_

Rey's first thought had been to find a cave. It would provide her shelter and she'd be able to hopefully light a fire. Soon it became clearly evident that no cave would be found. So Rey moved on to her second option. Any sheltered space, any where. In the final rays of day light, she managed to find a crevasse between two momentous bodies of ice. With a steely determination, Rey proceeded to wedge her freezing body through the crack, praying that it would protect her. It was her last hope.

Unfortunately the planet of ice was not going to be of any assistance. Much to her dismay, the crack in the glacier, only went in a few feet. Rey slid down the back ice wall in defeat. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead against it.

_So this is how I die._ She mournfully thought. She could no longer feel her toes.

She no longer had any fight left in her. She pulled the bag off of her back and pulled out the emergency solar blanket and wrapped the thin silver material around her shoulders. She felt tears well up in her eyes behind the goggles.

Regrets immediately started to flood her. She wish that she had been kinder to Luke. He had only wanted what was best for her. She wish she could have seen more of the galaxy. She wished that she hadn't been so naive in staying on Jakku as long as she had. Who knows where she might be today if she had gotten on that first charter who offered her a mechanics position? She had a feeling that she would not be about to freeze to death on Csilla. She wish that someone, anyone knew that she was here. She did not want her eternal resting place to be inside of a glacier.

Rey closed her eyes and pulled the makeshift blanket a little tighter. Every fiber of her being screamed from the cold. She could only hope that the warm you were supposed to experience before dying came quickly.

_Someone, please find me._ She weakly pleaded to the cosmos. _I don't want to die._

 

The tall figure had no problem finding the crevasse in the ice. It had known exactly where to look after all. With some hesitation, the figure reached out and tried to sense if there was any life left in the girl. With a sigh of relief, they could still feel a heartbeat. With long arms they pulled Rey's still body out from the ice. Holding her close, the figure swiftly carried her away.

“It's going to be okay.”  The voice whispered for no one to hear but them alone. 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up...not frozen to death in a crevasse. Not only is she not dead...she's warm and there is a fire crackling. Just who has saved her, and why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is up! I am going to try and keep up with a weekly update for as long as I can. I know I promised the smut in chapter 2, but I found that the characters just wouldn't cooperate! The smut is coming, I promise! Thank you so much for all your comments! I really appreciated them! 
> 
> Please enjoy! As always, critics are welcomed and comments are loved!

Chapter 2

Rey woke disorientated, to say the least. When she had first succumbed to sleep she had been curled up in an ice crevasses. Her clothes not so much wet as they were frozen solid. She had been positive that the last time she had closed her eyes that she was not going to wake again.

And yet here she was...discerningly not dead.

At least that is what she was hoping. She could be dead. That was the only reason she could really think of as to why she was bundled in thick blankets and the crackling of a fire could be heard. Rey had never felt as amazingly warm as she did at that exact moment. Sure, she hurt all over and the buzzing in her head was at such a fevered pitch she was having a hard time ignoring it. Those could all be attributed to her recent crash though. She struggled to sit up and was more than a little pleased to see that all of her fingers still worked, if stiffly.

That was when Rey first noticed the figure who was tending the fire. Dressed in thick winter gear, the hood was up on their coat, blocking all features from her line of sight. Their back was facing her, but she saw their shoulders stiffen as she started to sit up. Rey pulled the blanket up around her shoulders.

"Thank you." She addressed them, her voice cracking, rough and uneven. "Thank you for saving me. I appreciate it, truly."

The figure gave her a nod but made no move to turn from the fire. Odd as that was, Rey tried to ignore it. Instead, she looked around and examined the shelter they were in. She didn't want to spook the person who had just saved her. She had a feeling she would require a bit of their help to find her plane once the day broke again.

They were in a cave of sorts. Three of the walls were rough-hewn rocks with a low ceiling, while the last was a very solid looking sheet of ice. She could see the small entrance through the rock that they must have entered through. Her saviour had piled snow up against the majority of the entrance to keep out the wind.

She tried to stand, only to find that her legs didn't really agree with that command. She barely had time to stumble before the person by the fire was at her side. The figure towered over her and she found herself disappointed to find that their face was completely covered in a thick scarf and hood. They made no attempt to reveal themselves as they approached. She assumed her rescuer to be male, if only because of the size of his hands. Their hand nearly covered her shoulder as they pushed her back down gently on to the mat they had made for her. Rey watched with an inquiring gaze as they remained silent the entire time. The buzzing in her head increased.

Leaving Rey for a few moments, the tall figure left her and strode with a purpose to the fire. They quickly returned with a bowl of thick soup. Rey immediately felt her mouth begin to salivate as she accepted the proffered bowl.

"Thank you," She addressed him. "Again."

The tall figure nodded, but still refused to say anything. In a smooth motion, they went from standing to sitting cross legged across from her. They gestured for her to start eating with a simple nod. Rey found herself a bit hesitant to have an audience, but hunger soon won out and she slowly began to eat from the bowl. Once the figure was certain that she wasn't going to throw the bowl away, he stood up and returned to the fire.

Rey watched the figure walk away and felt only more puzzlement. Every once in awhile she thought that she got a flash that she knew the figure, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. Their posture and gait itched at the back of her mind. Who does he remind me of? She couldn't help but ponder. She noticed that the figure stiffened once more. She wasn't sure what had caused it this time. She had been utterly silent the whole time, save the odd *slurp* of soup.

Eventually, the silence began to grate on her. She spent much of her time alone, she normally had no issues with the still that came from not having people around. Years of fending for herself and staying away from the groups that occupied Jakku had taught her an appreciation of the subtle noises that filled the world. Sitting here however, in a cave, with a stranger who saved her and apparently refuses to say a word to her, with only the fire crackling to break the silence...it was enough to drive her mad.

Testing her legs again, Rey cautiously made her way over the fire, wrapped tightly in one of the blankets. The figure at the fire watched her with a great intensity as she moved slowly. Dark eyes flashed with interest as she moved. Eventually, she made her way to the warmth and set herself down across from the figure, again, not trying to startle him.

"My name's Rey." She started, giving the cloaked figure the best smile she could muster.

The figure nodded and returned to looking deep into the fire. Rey frowned and felt her frustration growing.

"I have to say," She started as she tried at conversation again, pulling the blanket closer, happy again to have the warmth. "I didn't think I was going to make it. You really saved me back there."

Again a nod.

"I have to ask," She faltered as the figure besides her turned their attention directly on her for the first time. Rey swallowed hard, a wave of intensity washed over her. She couldn't tell if it was leftover traces of her concussion or if it had come from the figure sitting before her. "How did you find me?" She nodded out to the dim light that streaked through the ice. "My plane went down pretty fast. Don't get me wrong!" She added, her hands out in defense. "I am eternally grateful that you did. I'm just shocked that there was anyone on this planet, let alone anyone in the area who would have seen a plane go down."

"You called me." A voice answered, muffled by the layers of fabric over it.

Rey felt her blood run cold, and she was certain it wasn't from the hypothermia she had just experienced. "What?" Her voice little more than a whisper. She knew that voice, she was certain that she did.

"You called for me." It repeated.

Rey shook her head and felt herself subconsciously shuffle away from the fire. "Impossible." She answered. "I tried to put out several distress calls, but my coms were down. There's no way you picked one of them up."

"You misunderstand me," The voice addressed her again, gaining more confidence. Long fingers reached up and removed the hood. "You called for me." It didn't take long for the scarf to become unraveled as apparently it was no longer needed.

"You!" Rey shouted as she leapt up, dropping the blanket in the process. She didn't need to see the full reveal to know just who exactly it was who had saved her. "How did you find me?"

"I came because you called for me." Kylo Ren answered with, his lips drawn in a serious line. "You led me right to your shelter...a miserable shelter at that." He fixed his dark eyes on her. There wasn't an ounce of humour in them. "You would have died."

Rey shook her head in defiance and started to back away. "Liar." She spat at him. "I know better than to trust you. How did you really find me?" She demanded again.

Kylo stood up and moved around the fire. Removing his gloves, he picked up the blanket she had just shed off of the ground. Without the thick wool protection, Rey was already feeling the frigid chill to the air.

"Put it back on." He commanded her.

Rey shook her head and backed up further. "No." She shot back, more so out of defiance than a lack of desire for the blanket. She was terribly cold. Wrapping her arms tightly around her body, she still could not suppress the shiver.

A deep scowl crossed Kylo's face and he and moved a step closer. Rey responded by moving another step back. They continued this advance and retreat until Rey's back hit the rough rock wall. Now that she had nowhere else to escape to, Kylo took that opportunity to close the distance between them with three fast steps. Rey found herself a little surprised when he stopped a full arm's length away from her.

"Put this back on." He demanded again, holding the blanket out. "Do it, or I make you do it. You know I can force you to." It was a statement, not a question. "I don't want to have to do that."

Keeping her eyes on Kylo, Rey tentatively reached out and took back the blanket. She definitely did not trust him...but damn was she cold. It was in the moment between when she took the blanket back and when she moved to pull the whole thing around her shoulders that Kylo acted.

In a single instant, his hands were against the wall on either side of her head, his long arms trapping her against the wall. His head dangerously close to her own. Rey felt her eyes grow wide and his proximity to her. She found herself unable to move. Though whether this was due to Kylo using the force on her or her own fear, she wasn't sure.

"Do you have any idea how much you scared me?" He growled, his voice rough with emotion. "Do you?" He demanded, fixing his gaze directly into Rey's. She tried to resist quivering under his intensity. She wouldn't have been able to move, force locked or not. "If you had any idea, you would not insult me so. I thought you-" Kylo cut himself off and broke his lock on her. Whatever he was going to say, it wasn't going to come easily out of him.

"I will not join you." She shot back, trying to show more daring than she felt at that moment. She was relieved to have her motions back.

He dropped his arms away from Rey's side and took a step back, continuing to stare her down. "I'm not here to convince you this time, so you can calm down." He answered bitterly. "Don't do anything stupid."

Rey swallowed and brought the blanket up around her body. Kylo did not retreat anymore. They stood there fixated on the small space between them. "How did you find me?" She asked, again.

Kylo sighed heavily, obviously tired of trying to explain again. "I told you," He started. "You called for me."

Rey shook her head. "I don't believe you." She whispered. "I would know if I did that."

Kylo raised an eyebrow. "Would you?" He asked in disbelief. "Please, anyone. Someone help!" He mimicked in a high falsetto. "Someone, please find me. I don't want to die." He shook his head slowly and dropped the voice. "Does that not sound familiar?"

Rey slowly shook her head, her brow drawn in confusion. "How did you-"

"I told you!" Kylo snapped, growing frustrated at her inability to grasp on. "Halfway across the galaxy and I get this...this distress call screaming into my head. I knew..." It was then that Rey noticed that his hands were clenched and shaking in rage. He was getting worked up "I just knew it was you. Who else could it be? Who else am I bonded to?"

Rey narrowed her eyes at his use of words. "You know I don't believe that."

"Believe what you want. That doesn't make it any less true." He countered.

"Fine," Rey snapped. Kylo's agitation was putting her on edge as well, though she wasn't exactly sure why. "Say I believe you. That doesn't answer 'why'. Why you would travel halfway across the galaxy to save me. If you knew I was so close to dying, why not just let it happen? I would be out of the way and you'd be rid of me. I would be out of your hair and out of the First Order's way. What good comes from saving me?"

Kylo stared at her, his mouth slightly agape, his eyes twisted in shock. "What?" He started, a genuine hint of confusion laced his voice. "Is that what you think? Do you honestly believe I could let you die?"

"What would it matter?" She snapped, starting once more to feel defensive.

Kylo hadn't approached her again in any fashion, he was holding his ground a pace away. He could have been standing across the room for all it mattered though. His tall, imposing figure and unreadable eyes were enough to make Rey nervous. She swore she saw him smirk at her and her nervousness. There was something in the way he watched her cowering there that put her on edge. He stood board straight and his eyes were always on her. They watched her every mood and read her every facial tick. What he was looking for, she had no way of knowing.

"You want me dead." She continued. "I won't join you, you know this. What other option do you have for me?

"Want?" Kylo quipped. "How would you know anything about what I want?"

Something in the way he dismissed her only enraged her more. "Oh I know plenty," She jeered. "Destruction of peaceful worlds, panic throughout the galaxy, the Jedi wiped out...you're no different than a plague." She snapped.

Kylo took that opportunity to take a large step forward, promptly filling in the space between them nearly entirely. He leaned down towards her until they were only breaths width apart. "You speak of things I am bound to do. What I want," He spoke softly, urging Rey to subconsciously lean forward to catch what he was saying. "Isn't something so easily obtained." The fingers on his right hand brushed her elbow; the only exposed skin she had.

Rey immediately shuttered at his touch and pulled her arm further into the blanket. Her cheeks flushed red at his touch. His fingertips were warm against her chilled skin. Far warmer than she would have anticipated coming from him. She was a little surprised when he didn't smirk at her reaction to his touch. She would have assumed he would lord it over her. Instead, a flash of something that could not be mistaken blinked through his eyes. A sense of something that she wanted to deny.

He dropped his hand. "What I want right now is some gratitude." He turned and moved away from her and returned back to the fire. "Keep the blanket on until your body returns to normal temperature. I won't ask again." He commanded without looking at her.

Rey swallowed hard. What was that about? She shook her head and tried to get the burning sensation on her face to subside. She tried to her best to convince herself that she wasn't blushing. It had to be due to the frostbite. Her reaction to his touch had come as a bit of a shock to her. She wasn't going to get drawn in like that a second time.

Biting down on her lip and her pride, Rey returned to the fire. It was cold after all. They sat there in a heavy silence, save for the odd crack and snap from the fire. Kylo sat cross legged and stared deep into the flames. His dark gaze unyielding from the flicker and bite of the flames. Rey did her best not to look at him. She had a feeling that Rey suppressed the odd shiver. The blanket did help, but she couldn't quite remove the painful ache she felt on her fingers and toes.

"Eat." Kylo nodded his head at the pot still simmering on the flame. "It's going to be some time before the storm breaks."

Rey did her best to force her face neutral when Kylo turned his eyes from the fire to her. All at once she knew that she had his undivided attention. He was waiting to see how she would react. Would she accept his help or would she refuse him to the end? He would have no problem reading her thoughts, regardless of their so called 'bond'. There was a vivid honesty that flashed behind his eyes and rang through her mind that seemed to ignite all her nerve endings.

Breaking their momentary gaze, Kylo returned his attention to the fire. "You're going to need your strength."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that's it for this week! Please let me know what you think of it. See you next week, when Rey discovers what Kylo's intentions really are.


	3. Chapter 3 - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, some explanation! Sorry everyone for the big delay. Life just got in the way and I found myself away from home for three weekends in a row. Now, some of you may be asking, 'Why Chapter 3 - part 1'? Well, the answer to that is when I finished writing chapter 3, I found that it was well over 6000 words, which is too long for a single post. So you'll get half of it today, and then half of it will be posted on Friday. So, sorry again for not posting in a while, but you'll get two chapters this week and then hopefully we'll fall back on a weekly chapter update system again. The next two chapters are ready to go, so there shouldn't be as much of a delay again.
> 
> Again, thank you everyone for your comments! I really appreciate them. 
> 
> Okay, on to the first part of chapter 3...

Chapter 3 – part 1:

 

 

“Why do you do that?”

Rey's head shot up at the sudden voice. They had been sitting in complete silence for the last few hours. Both unwilling to be the first to speak. She was so thrown by the question, she hadn't even absorbed what he was asking.

“Sorry?”

“Your food...” Kylo nodded towards the loaf she was holding. “Why are you doing that?”

Rey looked down at her meal, perhaps fully for the first time since Kylo had handed it to her twenty minutes ago. It was simple fare, soup and a heel of bread. Bread that she was currently shredding into small pieces before eating. Rey felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment. She had thought she had gotten rid of that particular habit. Kylo remained silent, waiting for her to answer him. There was no pushing, but his attention was fully on her. With a sigh, Rey put down the bowl.

“You know my upbringing.” Rey started. “I know you do, you saw it when you were digging through my thoughts on our first encounter.” Kylo's eyes fixed themselves on her, his expression unchanging. “And...well,” Rey tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She never thought talking about how her past had scarred her would be so difficult. “When you don't have enough food to eat....you do everything you can to make the food stretch further. Even if it's the same amount, I found when I ate it in the smallest pieces possible, it made it seem like I had more than enough.”

“There is enough food for both of us.” Kylo countered. “There is no need for you to ration yourself.”

“I know that,” Rey started, though in all honesty, she _had_ been wondering how long the food supply Kylo had brought with him would last two people. “It's a nervous thing.” She finally confessed, dropping her gaze. “When I get anxious, old habits come back. Things that should have been left on Jakku come creeping out.” She tried to play off how uncomfortable she was at that exact moment. “It's no big deal.”

Kylo didn't reply. Instead he ripped his own portion of the loaf in half and placed it into Rey's bowl. She opened her mouth to argue, but was met with a set of unwavering eyes.

“There is enough food for both of us.” He repeated, turning his gaze back down to his own bowl.

Rey stared down at the extra portion that was in her bowl. For some reason, having it in there _did_ calm her. She wasn't sure what to do with kindness. She hadn't been so much raised to be self-sufficient, rather she had been forced to become completely self-reliant. People hurt you. People lied to you. On Jakku nothing came for free and food certainly wasn't handed to you. She wanted to give the bread back and make boisterous claims that she didn't need it. That she didn't need him Instead she opened her mouth and said the only thing that made sense to her.

“Thank you.”

She could feel Kylo tense up more than she could see it. Outwardly he remained the same, but there was more to it than that. Rey _knew_ that her appreciation affected him more than he would ever let show. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who wasn't used to the kindness of others.

 

 

They spent the rest of the day in that cave. Often the howling winds outside of the makeshift entrance and the crackling of the fire the only noise. Kylo wasn't much of a speaker, which suited Rey just fine; she had never been one for small talk. They shared two more meals, both of which featured a whole loaf for Rey instead of a half.

She spent much of her time pacing the small cave and rubbing her toes and fingers. While they could move, they moved a bit too stiffly for Rey's liking, especially after a full day in a semi heated environment. She had tried meditating a few times. Connecting to the force and all that...but found she just couldn't find the right focus. The never ending buzz that she felt in her head was far too distracting.

She didn't try to engage Kylo Ren in conversation and he followed suit. Their interactions were limited to the meal time. She still wasn't sure what to make of his being there and helping her. He tended the fire and kept the large pot of soup at a steady simmer for whenever hunger struck. For all intensive purposes, they were two individuals in two separate rooms.

There was more to it than that though. Rey could feel his eyes on her all over the cave, despite them never leaving the fire. They watched her every move and memorized her every action. She wondered if she was to suddenly trip, would he catch her? He took great care to appear unfazed by her behaviour but she knew he was keeping track of her.

It seemed liked it took forever for the winds to die down. When they were finally silent, Rey almost thought she had gone deaf, having been used to the constant howl. She turned to Kylo, feeling excitement for a single fleeting moment before she pushed the motion down.

“Do you hear that?” She nodded towards the entrance. “It's calm.”

Kylo nodded, but gave no response. With stiff legs, Rey stood and did some simple stretches. If the weather was calming down, that meant that she'd be able to fix her plane, which in turn meant she'd be able to put as much distance as possible between her and Kylo Ren. She did her best to hide her smile. It wasn't until she started to move towards the entrance that Kylo made any move.

“What do you think you're doing?” He snapped as he jumped to his feet. He spoke with a far harsher tone than Rey had been expecting. She found herself actually feeling as if she had to explain her actions to him.

“It's calm.” She jerked her head towards the faint light coming out of the cave entrance. “I want to go and see what kind of damage there was to my plane from the crash. It might take a bit to fix it and I want to get on that as quickly as possible.”

She went to take another step towards the exit only to have Kylo move into her path. She felt her anger start to mount.

“Are we _really_ going to do this again?” She growled, her hands clenched into fists. She felt like a fool for feeling any sort of connection with him. Just when she thought that he was showing some sort of other side to him, he went right back to trying to control her.

Kylo held up his hands in a defensive stance. “Calm down,” He tried to start. This did little to dampen Rey's flare up in agitation.

“Don't tell me to be calm!” She snapped, trying to move around the much taller man. “I have been cooped up in here for a full day now. If I want to go and see my plane, you can't stop me!”

“Look,” Kylo blocked her new path. He did his best to try and calm his voice into as soothing of a tone as possible. “I'm not trying to stop you. If you want to go and see your plane, that's fine. I'll even go with you if you need any help. What I am trying to _stop_ you from doing is going out here in desert clothes _again_.” Rey felt her cheeks burn as she felt the first nips of the cold now that she'd left the fire's edge. Kylo's eye locked on her.

“If you want to freeze to death in a cave, I won't stop you this time.”

She wasn't sure why she stopped or why her anger suddenly dissipated with the look that Kylo gave her. It wasn't an aggressive or searching look. It was one of pleading. A look of complete and utter helplessness. Perhaps it was because she recognized that expression, a look that she felt that she had plastered on her own face many nights on her own. She took a step back.

“Fine.” She whispered. She immediately felt a flood of relief leave the man before her. Rey swallowed hard. “I...I don't have any other clothes.”

“I brought some of my spares,” Kylo answered hurriedly, as if he was afraid she would change her mind if he spoke too slowly. “They'll be too long, but it is better than what you have on.”

“I'm sure I can make it work.”

No sooner had she answered, did Kylo start to move across the cave to where there was a waiting bag. He pulled out thick black clothes; a long sweater and thick over coat.

“Here,” He held them out to her. “You can pull these on over what you have on. It should work well enough.”

Rey took the proffered clothes, unsure if she was relieved or not that he had them. Every thing he did seemed to place her deeper into his debt.

“I don't have gloves, but the sleeves should cover your hands. Same with the hood. If you need help to touch anything, I will do it for you.”

“Thank you,” Rey bristled, again feeling all too reliant on him. “But I will be able to fix my plane by myself.”

“I'm not your enemy here,” Kylo spoke suddenly. “We want the same thing....for you to be safely on your way.”

Rey got a sense that her words had cut him, and for reasons beyond her, she actually felt guilty about it. She grit her teeth together and forced herself to bite her tongue. Thus far he had given her no reason to be so defensive against him. Granted their past together was more than enough ammunition....at that exact moment however, that didn't seem to matter.

_Be nice, be nice_. She chided herself. Her eyes narrowed out of habit when she saw a small smile creep onto the corner of Kylo's mouth. It vanished as quickly as it had appeared. _Be nice_.

“We should go while there is still light.” Rey offered, as non-aggressively as she could muster.

“From what I've observed, it is daylight most of the time here,” Kylo interjected. “but I agree. Best go while the winds are calm.” He looked over at the entrance. “I hope that your plane isn't too buried.”

 

 

The walk to the plane wasn't as bad as Rey feared it might be. Sure it was cold, but now that the wind had died down, it was nowhere near as biting as it had been. Plus with the thicker winter layers, the cold didn't get quite as far into her bones as it had before.

Kylo lead most of the way with Rey following behind a pace or two. She had originally been the one breaking the trail but soon found herself exhausted trudging through thigh high snow drifts. Without saying a word, Kylo had moved in front of her and made the path. She had to begrudgingly hand over the tracker that she had activated in the plane before she had gone off in search of shelter. She wouldn't admit it, but Rey did find it easier to walk in his deep footsteps versus the solid snow. Even with the easier walk, she soon found that she was sweating underneath the thick coat. She undid the first set of snaps at the top.

“Leave your coat on.” Kylo ordered her without even looking behind.

Rey scowled at the tall figure in front of her. “How do you even know I was doing anything?” She countered “Maybe it was the sound of the ice creaking?”

Kylo looked over her shoulder and for the first time since her crash, Rey felt the urge to laugh. His expression was one of utter dejection. Choosing to ignore her with a shake of his head, Kylo turned back to the trek.

“Just leave you coat on.”

After another twenty minutes of plodding through the unending snow, they came upon what could only be Rey's plane. She felt a mix of relief as well as dread. It was where it was supposed to be...but that was about the only thing that had seemed to go right.

“I thought you knew how to fly?” Came the incredulous voice beside her.

The crash had been worse than she remembered. Blame it on her concussion or the storm that had raged over the last day, but her plane now lay under several feet of snow. Rey swallowed hard. She could barely see the plane, let alone tell what was wrong with it. She let out a groan of frustration as she walked around the plane, or what she could see of it, trying to survey how deeply buried it was.

_You know...I bet I could lift the plane out..._

The realization came to her in a flash, and she suddenly felt quite smug with herself. If this wasn't what her training with Luke had been for, then what was? He often talked about having to pull a fighter out of a swamp in Dagobah. A small plane out of the snow should be simple. She moved a few steps back and began concentrating all of her will on the plane. She drew on the Force around them, and somehow she found herself inadvertently tapped into the power that was within Kylo.

It was a different feel from the Force that filled the land. It wasn't as dark or evil feeling as she had expected it to be. She had always assumed that if she was to create a link with Kylo Ren again there would be no mistaking his soiled energy. Granted...it _was_ unmistakable, she would remember the feel of it until the day she died, of that she was certain. But it wasn't foul or corrupted...it was just...undeniably _him_.

Perhaps it was because she was so focused on her task and the surprising lack of monstrous energy she felt from Kylo that she never noticed his frantic expression as the plane began to move.

“No!” He shouted. “Wait-” Rey heard his voice call out, but it was too late.

* **CRACK***

Rey froze, her hands still outstretched trying to force the plane off the ground. The only thing she had time for was to look over at Kylo, his look of panic instantly burned into her memory. Then she fell through the ice.

If she thought the snow storm in her desert clothing had been cold, she was in no way ready for the experience that was the icy waters of Csilla as they pulled her down. Her breath forced its way out of her lungs as the frigid liquid surrounded her. She tried to remain calm, she tried to swim up, she _tried_ to keep a level head, but immediately fear and panic swelled in her head. She began fighting against the heavy wool coat that was trapping her limbs and knew that she was sinking. Dark spots began to dance behind her eyes as her lungs screamed for oxygen.

_No!_

She felt a frantic probe from Kylo as he begun searching for her through the ice and not entirely sure how to do it, Rey tried to connect with him.

_I'm here_! She pleaded, fully aware that her time was growing short.

Her arms and legs refused to move anymore. The hole where she had fallen through the ice was growing smaller and smaller by the second. She could feel Kylo trying to find her location under the ice, but he wasn't having much luck. The ice and water was interfering with their connection.

_I'm sorry_.

She pushed her last thought out. She wasn't sure if he was going to be able to hear it, but she hoped he knew that she really had appreciated all his help. Even if she had pushed it away. She desperately wanted to close her eyes but found her eyelids partially frozen shut. The darkness surrounded her.

And then she felt it again.

Their connection.

Her head instantly began to pound with a fevered intensity that she couldn't quite convince herself was from the drowning. Much to her surprise, she began to move back up through the water. Now fast enough however...consciousness would not stay with Rey no matter how hard she tried.

All went black.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left you with a bit of a cliff hanger, but you won't have to wait long to see what happens! See you all on Friday. As always, comments are greatly appreciated!


	4. Chapter 3 - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! As promised, here is the rest of chapter 3. Thank you everyone for all your comments! It really made my day to see them come in to my inbox! I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapter!  
> See you next week.

Chapter 3 – part 2

 

 

 

The next thing she knew, she was laying on the ground with a panicked Kylo Ren performing chest compressions on her bare chest. She gagged as the water that had been trapped in her lungs forced its way up her throat and out of her mouth. She tried to turn on to her side to spit the water out but found her body unwilling to listen to her orders. Her entire chest was on fire with pain. Every breath she tried to take pressed on her now cracked ribs. She started to choke on the water again. Kylo reached over and with a large hand gently rolled her over and moved her wet hair out of the way.

Rey wanted to say something, anything really, but found her thoughts sluggish and slow. She tried to bat away Kylo's hands as he started to remove the rest of her clothes. He pushed away her feeble attempts and removed her from her pants and somehow managed to get her arms out of the coat and sweater.

“Your body temperature is too low.” He explained to her as he took her clothes off. Rey knew that he was speaking to her but found her thoughts were not really focusing. “I have to get you out of your wet clothes.”

He placed Rey back down on the dry coat and pulled off his own sweater, his pale skin almost translucent against the snowy backdrop. Again Rey wanted to protest, but found her words lost. She knew she should feel exposed and venerable, but instead the only emotion she felt was gratitude. With a strength that Rey couldn't associate with his tall, lean frame, he picked her up and wrapped the one dry coat around the both of them.

“I have to get you back to the fire.” He dictated to her as he started to jog back to the cave, but it fell on deaf ears. There was nothing more Rey wanted than to close her eyes and drift off to sleep.

Everything was heavy. Her lips, her eyelids, her thoughts. Nothing seemed to want to work right for her. Somehow twice in seventy-two hours she had required saving. She had gone fifteen full years alone on Jakku, surviving on her own merit, and here she was playing the damsel in distress. If she wasn't so tired, she might have fought Kylo for the right to walk back to the cave by herself. Instead, against his warm chest, with his rapidly beating heart playing like a metronome, the only thing Rey could do was try to resist her body's base impulse to close her eyes.

* _Don't sleep_.*

Her inner voice took on a tone that was unusual. She couldn't figure out why, but the _voice_ was just different. She shook her head against Kylo's chest, it sort of rattled as her exposed wet hair fast freezing into hard icy crystals. He was breathing heavily with the activity of moving as quickly as he could against the drifts with an extra person.

* _We're almost there. Don't sleep.*_

Rey was unused to her internal voice telling her what to do, but she did her best to comply. If only for the reason that it sounded scared. She tried to move her arms to wrap around her body to try and conserve some of her heat, but found them pinned to her sides by Kylo's arms which were wrapped so tightly around her torso that she feared that she might have bruises the next day.

Eventually, they did make it back to the cave. It only took five more prompts of 'don't sleep' and two stumbles in the deep banks before they got there. As soon as Kylo managed to get them both through the waist high entrance way, he immediately started to stoke the fire. Rey felt as if her mental cognitive abilities were coming back because she began to wonder just what Kylo was burning. There had been no trees visible anywhere between the crash site and the cave.

After the fire was raging with a heat that even Rey could feel through her chilled body, Kylo turned his attention back to her. He quickly her bed roll closer to the fire and removed the now damp coat from around her body. It wasn't until he started to remove the rest of his clothes that Rey was hit with the sudden realization that she was in fact quite naked. She opened her mouth to protest but one look from Kylo and she slowly shut it again. She offered no resistance as he placed her down on the bed, now with the addition of his own blanket, and wrapped his own body around hers.

It was the furthest thing from an erotic situation that Rey could think of. She was currently at risk of going into shock from the abrupt temperature changes and was shaking at an alarming rate. What he was doing was attempting to get her core temperature back up to a functioning degree. She knew all of this, knew that he was trying to save her life _again_ , but that didn't stop her from feeling highly uncomfortable with a very naked man holding her own very naked body. Erotic or not. Her face flushed, and she hated that her body thought it was appropriate to take some of her very precious heat away from her core and spend it on showing her embarrassment.

Her body at first had seemed almost too cold to shiver. That feeling soon passed and she found herself shaking uncontrollably against Kylo's embrace. With every tremor she had, his arms pulled her tighter to his chest. She could feel his hot breath against her neck. It moved across her skin in time with the rise and fall of his chest.

She could feel every muscle of his chest and arms against her skin, as well as the scars covered them both. The rough edges of them cut into her back. She always had a feeling that Kylo would have scars hidden under all his layers of clothing, heck, she had even given him one or two of them. What she hadn't expected was to also feel the ones that _weren't_ on his skin.

Years and years of anger and rage had taken over the body of Kylo Ren, that much Rey was certain. Even without his emotions running over her she would have been able to tell you that. Training and the Order were all that had sustained him. Beneath that...beneath all the crisscrossing of scars and hard worked muscle that was working to keep her warm, there was something more...something else. There was a spark of feeling buried deep. It had to do with why he kept saving her, but she didn't want dig any deeper. She wouldn't dig deeper. Instead she let his blank thoughts, ones filled with emotion but no physical images, consume her.

Eventually Rey's shivering calmed and her breathing steadied. It seemed like it had taken hours, but she had no real way of knowing. She was grateful that she no longer struggled to breathe even if it still hurt to do so from her broken ribs. She had a feeling that those aches might take a little longer than a few hours to heal up. At least now she wasn't worried that any breath could be her last.

They lay there together in complete silence. Even the crackling of the fire didn't seem to penetrate the invisible barrier over the two of them. Rey was starting to wonder if Kylo had fallen asleep when his hold on her suddenly shifted from life-saving to intimate. There was no change in position, no motion or gesture had happened, but suddenly, Rey knew that his hold held a different meaning.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Kylo's voice was little more than a harsh whisper against her neck. “Do you even have the faintest inkling how you doing these things foolish, reckless things just destroys me?”

Rey suppressed a shiver against his lithe muscular body. She wasn't sure if he knew she was awake or not. Some how announcing her consciousness seemed a violation of some sort of unspoken private moment.

“How is it you can be so smart and yet so utterly clueless at the same time?”

 

 

Rey woke in poor spirits and a worse mood. She couldn't tell how much time had passed or even when she had fully fallen asleep. What she did know is that there was currently a long arm holding her tightly in place, and for some reason the very sight of it infuriated her. All her memories of the day before and her needing saving, _again_ , came flooding in.

_Who does he think he_ _ **is**_ **?** Rey fumed as she flung Kylo's arm off of her. _Speaking of emotions as if I owed him anything._

Kylo looked up at her groggily now that he was jarred awake. “Wha?” He started before Rey unceremoniously cut him off.

“Get up.”

Kylo stared her down. “What?”

Rey pulled the blanket of the bed roll around herself, doing her best to cover herself up. Now that she was no longer on Death's door, she felt exposed. “You heard me. Go to your own spot.” She jerked her head towards the second bed roll. “There's no need for you to still be in mine. I'm not freezing anymore.”

Kylo sighed. “So we're back to this, are we?”

“Back to what?”

Kylo moved a few of the strands of his ebony hair out of his face that had fallen across it while he slept and shook his head. “Back to me trying to help you and you shoving me away.”

Rey felt her face flush instantly. “I don't need _help_.” She shot back. “You've done your part. I don't need saving from any more of my _recklessness_.”

Kylo's eyes snapped up to hers. “So you _were_ awake.”

Rey swallowed hard. Immediately she was flooded with a myriad of emotions that she had a hard time differentiating, all flooding in from Kylo Ren. One feeling stood up more than the others. One that made her cheeks burn.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” She insisted, though her face told otherwise.

“Oh, but I think you do. I think you know more than you pretend you don't.”

Kylo moved to his knees. He made no attempt at covering himself. Rey did her best to keep her eyes affixed on Kylo's face _only_.

“I'll tell you what,” He started. “I'll move to my own side, _if,_ you can tell me why.”

“Why what?” Rey countered. She was sure he was going to respond with 'why I saved you?', to which she had a snappy remark waiting. Instead what she got was a kiss.

Kylo reached behind her and in one swift motion, his lips were on hers. Rey could feel his heat through her cracked lips. She had no idea how his own lips were so perfectly smooth after two days on a frozen landscape, and yet that's what they were; smooth and soft. They pressed against her and a wave of intense longing washed over her. Whether it was her longing or his, Rey couldn't tell.

His hands, one on her back and the other holding her neck, pulled her close as the kiss deepened. It didn't seem to matter that the blanket was even still between them. Every nerve on Rey's body was static to her surroundings. She felt as if someone else was to touch her at that exact moment they would get shocked. Much to her dismay and against every intuition she had, Rey found she was kissing him back.

Then, with as much suddenness as it had started, Kylo pulled back, releasing his hold on her. Leaving Rey to let out a bit of a gasp as he moved. The spell was broken on her and now she was painfully aware of how close they were to each other. Kylo slid his hands off her body, trailing his fingertips along her bare skin as he did. She shivered at the touch and she wasn't positive it was due to the cold. He pulled a strand of her hair with him teasingly.

“Why you didn't push me away just now.”

Rey remained utterly silent. Kylo only smirked at her inability to come up with a response.

“Then,” He started, beginning to lay back down. “I am not going anywhere.”

 

When Rey woke Ren was already gone. He had left her the large cloak he had used to warm her the night before. The heavy fabric slid off her shoulders as she painfully sat up and arched her back. She was still cold, but more so in the way one feels when they're waking up from a long sleep. Not in any life threatening way like it had been before she had first lost consciousness. She subconsciously pulled the cloak back around her body and shuddered. Facing a near death situation twice in as many days had taken more out of her than she had thought. It was definitely an experience she could do without.

She still couldn't believe what had happened. If it wasn't for the fact that she was indeed alive and now had an imperial cloak keeping her warm, she would have chalked it up to the night's _happenings_ to figments of a near death experience....though, what that was saying about her internal desires she didn't know. Her body ached as she slowly stood. She wasn't sure if it was from the plane crash or from the night before. Her clothes were now dry and laying out by the remnants of the fire that had been blazing the night before.

After she got dressed it took Rey a solid few minutes of constant consideration before she finally fastened the thick wool cloak around her shoulders and headed out of the cave. It brought her blood to boil to think that she had to continue to rely on the one person she couldn't stand, but at the same time, she most certainly was not equipped for the blizzarding weather that still roared outside the cave entrance. She still had to see if her plane had also taken a swim, and she didn't really want to do that in a thin sweater and slacks. The last time hadn't worked out so well for her.

The path they had taken to the plane the day before had been partially blown in with snow, but it was still easier to walk than making a new path. Her body moved slowly, but she did make progress. She was ecstatic to find that her plane wasn't currently resting on the bottom of whatever body of water it was that was sleeping under the ice. Sure it was still buried in snow, but snow....snow she could handle.

She inched painstakingly towards her plane, unsure where it was that she had broken through the ice and how fragile the ice currently was. Now that Kylo was gone, she had a feeling she wouldn't survive a second swim in the frozen water.

It took time to uncover her plane the slow manual way, but she wasn't going to risk breaking the ice again. Once it was it was considerably easier to figure out what had happened to her ship. Best she could figure is that at some point while her plane was running diagnostics it had tested the life support and it had left the heat running during the test. That heat had partially melted the ice. When the test was done the heat had shut off again, allowing the ice to freeze around her landing gear. Much to her relief, Rey found that the plane, though worse for wear, wasn't a complete wreck.

It required a few specialty tools and a know-how on the workings of the ship. Thankfully she had both. It was painful work, touching the metal of the ship with her thinly covered hands. The cold steel burned her fingers as she worked. For the most part she was able to focus on her work, but occasionally memories of the night before crept in.

Rey shook her head violently. _Now is_ _ **not**_ _the time for this!_ She chided herself. _The kiss wasn't even_ _ **that**_ _good._ She concluded dismissively.

* _Liar*_ A new, but not unknown voice echoed in her head.

Rey immediately dropped her wrench in the snow and spun around searching for the too distinct voice in her head. “Whaaa....” She spoke in a rough whisper as her eyes frantically darted around searching the ever white landscape for any distinct forms or colours.

It remained as white and as barren as it had been moments before.

Tentatively Rey picked back up the wrench and brushed off the snow, all the while keeping her eyes scanning the desolate plain. With a shake of her head, she returned to her work.

_It was nothing_. She tried to convince herself. _Just the wind playing tricks on you._ It did little to convince herself. She _knew_ that the voice had been _inside_ her head, not a sound she had just heard. She could lie all she wanted to herself, but she _knew_ that it had been Ren's voice.

She was used to voices being projected. Luke had been a fan of non-verbal communication. He said when the situations were dire, it was a good skill to have. Something about how it wouldn't give away their plans, or something like that. Rey had never been very good at it. Luke said she wore her emotions too close to the surface. It clouded her judgment and left her to easy to read. Her mind was like an open book. They had worked together to try and fix that, but _apparently_ she had too much 'anger' according to Luke.

Rey grit her teeth again as she slammed the cover over the engine once more. That, along with many other reasons, was why she was on this forsaken planet in the first place. She had had a terrible row with Luke just a few days before. He claimed that she wasn't ready for the missions that Leila had proposed. She had sworn that she was. He forbade her from going and then she had stolen his plane and left anyways. She would have felt much more smug about the whole thing if she hadn't crashed landed only a few days later and then found herself seduced by Kylo.

* _Seduced?*_ That same voice questioned, not even attempting to mask the self-satisfied feelings behind it.

“Aaaaahhhh!” Rey's hands clamped over her ears. “How are you doing this?” She screamed into the winds howling around her.

The voice in her head went silent. Releasing her head, Rey tried to steady her breath. _Calm....calm...be calm_. She instructed herself. _He's just fucking with you_. _He's not here...you are all alone. You're just imagining things. Just be calm._

With one more deep exhale, Rey climbed into her ship and tried the controls. They responded immediately.

_Finally!_ Rey cheered with a pump of her hands against the dash. _Yes!_

As she started up the plane and locked herself in, even though he didn't say anything, she could _feel_ that Kylo was just as pleased as she was that the plane was going again.

She still couldn't say _how_ she knew this. All that she knew was that she did.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's finally off of Csilla! There are 19 chapters all outlined for this story, so I hope you all stick around to find out what happens next. As always, comments are greatly appreciated!  
> Have a great week.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is up. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you all for the comments last week! They are always immensely appreciated!

Chapter four:

 

 

Her life returned to a semi-balance of normality after that. The voice that had come in so unexpectedly never returned. It became a faint buzzing in the back of her mind that never stopped, but she wasn't entirely convinced that it wasn't from banging her head against the dash of her fighter when she crash-landed on the icy planet. Sometimes she wondered if she really _had_ just imagined the voice on the wind, a byproduct of her near death experience. Occasionally her thoughts drifted towards Kylo Ren, but she quickly chased those thoughts away. She wanted to grace him no more thought processing power than she needed to.

She hadn't told anyone what had actually happened on Csilla. Heck, she could barely admit to herself what had happened there, let alone the people she worked with. When she hadn't shown up at the rendezvous point, everyone had gotten a bit worried. When she sheepishly limped back to the base four days later with a severely damaged fighter, there had been a lot of questions. She had gotten away telling everyone that she had had some engine failure and had to put the plane down before she could get a distress message out. She didn't confess that she had tried to send dozens of help calls out before she had finally crashed. It was her own fault for not checking that the communication system actually worked before she took the plane.

Everyone seemed to accept what she said as truth and left it at that. If they were suspicious, they kept it to themselves. For some reason though, Leia seemed to watch her with a different set of eyes after that. Sure, she was still cordial and commanding, like the leader she was, but there was something different. Rey tried extra hard to make sure all thoughts she had been having of sleeping with the leader of the resistance's son out of her head, but she could never tell if she was keeping those thoughts down deep enough.

Those thoughts were there though. No matter how hard she tried to ignore them, they were just as present as the buzzing. She would wake up in the middle of the night breathing heavily and cheeks aflame from what she had hoped was only a dream. There were only ever flashes of her dreams that remained once she woke up, and only the strongest of those emotions shared stayed with her throughout the day.

 

“Rey, what do you think?”

Rey's head snapped up and her cheeks burned a bit red. She really hadn't been listening. She had been...distracted as of late. “I think....” She trailed off, her face growing more crimson by the second. Leia gave her a smirk, that let Rey know exactly where Kylo Ren had got that trait from. She immediately pushed the thought down. _Not now!_ She chided herself.

“We were talking about the scavenger mission. Are you sure you're up for it? You did just return from a crash. I don't want to put you at risk before you're ready.”

“I'm ready.” Rey insisted. “I swear.”

“I can see why you and Luke are butting heads.” Leia chuckled. “He sees too much of himself when he was young in you. You are treating him exactly as he treated his own master. It must be hard to see someone repeat your own footsteps. Fine,” She gave Rey a small nod. “The outpost mission is yours. See what you can find there. Remember, we need parts and plans. Weapons are a plus, but not a high priority unless you have time.” She regarded Rey again. “Are you sure you don't want to take a few of the others with you?”

Rey shook her head. “I was a scavenger for most of my life. I work better alone. You have to know exactly what you're looking for. If I have to take care of some beginners while I work, I'll never get anything done.

“Very well,” Leia responded with a nod. “No one can say I didn't ask. Make sure you take a ship with a _working_ coms system this time.” She added with a twinkle in her eye.

Not trusting herself to speak, Rey nodded and left the command room. She wanted to head straight for the flight bay, but knew that she would need a few supplies from her room first. It was a three days flight to the abandoned Imperial base. She wanted to get going as soon as she could. She also wanted to escape from the listlessness she was experiencing now that she was back at the base.

With Finn off on his own mission with Poe, she had no one to talk to. It wasn't like she was about to confess the fact that she had been cared for and protected by their sworn enemy not once but twice. Or that there had been some very terse tension between them that _wasn't_ due to their fighting on opposite sides of an intergalactic war.

Or the fact that for the past two weeks she had been having terribly erotic dreams about Kylo that were starting to bleed into her consciousness. As soon as she began to let her thoughts drift Rey found that she would immediately be bombarded with what she could only be described as fantasies, because they had never happened...but that didn't stop them from feeling so frighteningly real. Images of Kylo's hands tilting her face up and their lips crashing together, and neither willing to be the first to submit their dominance. Or her grabbing him by this thick wavy hair and directing his mouth over her body. Him picking her up and trapping her between his body and the wall. Image after image, scenario after scenario, each more real than the last. She could practically feel his hot breath on her skin, which made for awkward blushes at inopportune times. Rey couldn't stop them, but also couldn't figure out where they were coming from.

She could barely admit that she was having these thoughts to herself, let alone her only friend....but it would have been nice to talk about a very confusing encounter that was currently plaguing her. Nothing she did seemed to remove the traces of Kylo Ren that were all over her. Every time she walked into her room and opened her closet, there was his Imperial coat and those few days isolated in the cave with him all came crashing back. She reached up and ran a hand down the sleeve. The material was thick and well made. Touching the coat had become a bit of a totem. It was proof that she wasn't losing her mind, and that her time in that cave had happened.

Rey quickly threw a few things into a canvas bag and locked the closet as she did every time she left the room. She didn't need people asking questions as to why she had an Imperial coat. All the same, she also couldn't get rid of it. Every time she thought about it, a wave of unease would wash over her and she would close the door and leave it be. She hoped that by leaving the base, the power of the coat would diminish and perhaps when she returned she could be rid of it once and for all.

As she climbed into the cockpit, she purposefully deactivated the navigation droid. She liked droids. She liked that she could understand them and liked that they were indefinitely useful in many different ways. What she didn't like however was being pestered by a million questions on a terribly long flight. She could navigate just fine on her own. If she ever felt like she needed to be interrogated on whether or not she was, in fact, lusting over someone she hated and judged on just how messed up that was, well, she'd turn it back on then.

 

It was an uneventful flight to the abandoned station. She had kept off the nav-droid the whole flight. Even when she had to find a place to land, she knew better. A flaw with the particular model of droid was that once you turned them on, they often refused to shut up. Rey needed some quiet time with her thoughts.

The base was on Rori. Rey actually had to look up where it exactly that was. Apparently, it was one of the moons that orbited Naboo. Another first for her, she had heard stories of Naboo, but not until she had joined the resistance. Living on Jakku had given her a rather sheltered life. Sure, she could tell you all about the smugglers, vagabonds, and schemers who made up the universe, but things like the Galactic Civil War hadn't exactly been relevant for a young scavenger to know.

Rey landed her plane off the entrance of the base and paused inside of her cockpit. There was a hum to the air there. She couldn't quite figure out where it was coming from. For the first time since she had left the base, she wished that she _had_ brought someone with her. If only to confirm that they could hear or feel the buzz that filled the still air. She was growing more and more sure that she was going ever so slightly crazy.

Pulling off her helmet and climbing out of her fighter, Rey stepped down on the concrete landing pad where she had put down her plane. The base was very well preserved, despite not having been in use for decades. The tan coloured squat building had the cracks of a building that was only just holding itself together out of spite of the nature around it. She probed the area, feeling for any other life forms, friendly or hostile that may be lurking in the corners. She could sense nothing.

“Alright....let's get to work!” She spoke out loud for no one to hear.

She grabbed the larger of the two canvas bags she had brought from inside the plane and slung the lot over her shoulder. It had all the scavenging gear she could ever want. Rope, levers, hammers and wrenches, saws, you name it. The man who was in charge of the rebellion armoury had done well to replicate what she had used back in Jakku, better in fact...though, that didn't stop Rey from having momentary little pangs of longing for her old kit, the one likely now completely covered in the ever changing sands of what she thought was her home planet. She never thought that she would miss Jakku. She had hated it there. She saw it as a prison, something holding her back from something she didn't know. She had stayed her as long as she had out of some strange deluded form of hope. She couldn't believe the relief she had felt from finally coming to terms that she did not in fact have to return to her everyday life. That didn't stop the odd flash of longing for something easy though.

She didn't regret leaving Jakku, not even a little bit, but at least there she had been sure of her role and what was to come from her being there. The answer to that had been nothing. Nothing was expected of her and therefore she had nothing to expect of herself. She still couldn't quite understand this new powerful role she was supposed to have now. It was one of the reasons whenever Leia (or whoever was running that particular briefing) mentioned that there was to be a reconnaissance or scavenging mission, Rey was the first to volunteer. If only to get back a small notion that what she did, did not in fact matter. That she was once again just a small piece in an ever moving machine. She would leave, have her moment of nostalgia, and then return, ready once more to throw her everything to fight for the cause.

She tested the door with the scanner she had gotten from the rebel store rooms. It was old, obsolete technology, but that was exactly what she needed. The last time the base had been used was almost fifty years ago. She wasn't going to be able to override its security protocols with new tech. The sensor blipped green and the main doors into the base slid open. An eerie breeze wafted out of the doors, but a surprising lack of dust came out of the entrance. The air was stale, but Rey had expected to see more indicators of a base forgotten by time. The structure she examined as she walked though looked more or less cared for.

She put out another probe, searching once more for any sign of life. With a scowl, Rey sensed nothing. Not even a rodent appeared to be crawling through the walls. She flicked her blaster on, but left it on her hip, safe in its holster. She was edgy now. The chances of _nothing_ being in the building seemed highly unlikely, and that made her nervous. She tried to reason to herself that perhaps the building really had been hermetically sealed all these years, but Rey wasn't about to put her life on those odds.

 

The buzzing in her head intensified. It seemed to be drawing her though the base's maze-like structure. At first she hadn't realized that she was following it. She was just going about her mission. She checked rooms for working computers and checked their data. She checked for an armoury, for a mission control, and for a machines bay. Anything with moving parts was essentially what she was looking for. It hadn't been an isolated incident that her plane had gone down. The Resistance _needed_ parts nearly as much as they needed people who knew what to do with them.

It wasn't until she hit a dead end hallway and was looking both ways for any indicator that she should inspect either direction that the buzzing set off alarms in her head. She looked right, nothing. She looked left, it felt as if she touched an exposed wire. Now Rey considered herself to be a bright and clever individual. She learned things quickly and could speak several languages. There wasn't a plane she couldn't take apart and put back together in better working order than it started out with. That said, Rey could not claim that she was smart.

She turned left.

Perhaps she was curious what the buzzing was, perhaps she was suspicious over why she had yet to sense a single living thing on the entire base, perhaps she was just feeling overconfident in her abilities...either way, she followed the buzz. Every fibre of her being told her not to do it. That nothing good would come from following an unseen prompt. All the same, she simply walked down the dimly lit halls, pausing at every intersection to see where the buzzing instructed her to go. She felt no malice towards the connection.

Eventually, the buzz brought her to a closed door. Hesitantly Rey held up the sensor, and it blinked green again. There were no traps on the door. She gingerly put a hand on the switch next to the frame. The door slid open easily. The room was empty. Rey put her head in through the opening. Completely empty. Confused, she took a step into the room, and then another. It was a small room, perhaps only ten feet long and six wide, little more than a closet. She could nearly touch both walls if she stuck her arms out.

That was when the door slid shut behind her. By the time she turned around, the door was snugly in place again. Rey felt the colour drain from her face. She flung herself at the door, working desperately with her fingertips to try and find a single opening.

_A trap!_

Her fingers worked meticulously along the edge of the door. She did her best to keep calm. She checked the slash, the side casings, and the head. It wasn't the first time she'd found herself unexpectedly trapped in her line of work. You don't spend all day digging through abandoned space ships without accidentally activating a few old protocols. All the same, she couldn't keep her hands from shaking as she ran them over the still. It didn't matter how much she told herself that it was fine, that this happened all the time, that she could get out of anything...she knew that this time it was different.

 _Breath Rey...breath._ She chided herself when she realized that she was holding her breath. It certainly didn't help with her hands shaking. The buzzing in her head was nearly unbearable. It took all over her will to not crawl into the corner and cover her ears against the intrusion.

 _Not that that would help_. Rey glumly thought as she took a step back from the door and took in the whole mechanism. She knew the sound was coming from within her head, not some external sound.

The door wasn't going to be moving anytime soon, and Rey could not for the life of her figure out why. By all accounts, the door never should have slid shut. It, like the other doors she had opened since arriving, had to be connected it to the power source in the scanner before they would work. There was no power still running through the facility. She pushed down the obvious answers and started to fully examine the room.

There was a small power grating in the top corner, right above the door. She reasoned that she might be able to see where the new power was coming from if she could get it open. With a sigh, Rey pulled out a thin screw driver and placed it behind her ear. She then set about finding a hand hold on the barely raised edging of the door. It wasn't easy to pull herself up to the ceiling, but it didn't hurt that she could use the Force to keep her feet from slipping.

Luke had commented that she always liked to do things the hard way. If he was here right now, she was sure that he'd be telling her to just use the force to remove the plate from the ceiling and then figure out what was wrong with it. Rey grit her teeth as she pulled the screw driver from her ear and got to work removing the covering. Sure, she could use the Force...sort of...but her real issue with it, was that she was unless she could feel it with her hands. She just couldn't get the visualization that Luke did. She preferred her way, even if it required more physical exertion.

She was part way through removing the second to last screw when the door inexplicably opened. She dropped the screw driver in shock, but that shock soon turned to a deep rage when she realized that she could no longer move. She had been ready to jump down to face whoever or whatever it was entering the room with her, only to find that she was frozen in place. Her left leg bracing against the wall, her right stretched out over the door, both hands on the ceiling.

“Well,” A voice addressed her with humour as he entered the room. Rey felt her nostrils flare out of aggravation, unable to move any other part of her body. “Isn't this a welcoming pose?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have been promising some smut chapters since the beginning, and in all honesty, I actually have two completely different versions of chapter 2 and 3 that just didn't seem to fit the flow, so, as promised you are finally getting a risqué chapter next week. Sorry for all the delays! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this week's chapter, and have a great week!


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, new chapter is up! Sorry for the long delay. Between work and life, I just can't seem to keep the 1 week update schedule that I was hoping to. I hope you like the new chapter, I had some conflicting opinions from my betas which is why it took a little longer this time. As mentioned last chapter, from here on, there will be smut. As always I am very interested to read your comments.
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 5

 

"Let me down!" Rey snapped, her anger evident on her voice. "Now!" She added when Kylo simply smirked at her.

"Oh, I don't know..." His dark eyes twinkling in the dim light. "I quite like this pose." He stated, as he lazily dragged a finger from her ankle to her knee.

" _E chu ta._ " She cursed under her breath as she tried to calm herself.

She had a feeling it wouldn't do to agitate Kylo. For what it was worth, he definitely had the upper hand currently. Every time she tried to release herself from his hold, she was met with a solid wall of power. They may be comparable in skill on the battlefield, but she had nowhere near his finesse with the Force. She hadn't had the greatest of time training with Luke. She knew that she had issues to work through to get to the level of skill she saw Kylo possess.

"Release me now or I swear-"

"Swear what?" Kylo fixed her with an interested gaze. "What do you swear?"

Rey grit her teeth together but remained silent. She had no comeback. There was nothing she was willing to risk promising in front of him.

She hated the way his eyes skimmed her body. She knew that he was seeing her now as she had been on Csilla There was no doubt of this in her mind...because that's all she could see when she looked at him. A lean figured hidden behind too many layers of clothes with almost more scars than clean skin.

"Fine," Kylo started. "I guess I could release you..."

Rey's momentary thrill of the thought of being let go was short lived, when only her feet fell away from the wall. She now swung ever so slightly, her hands still stuck to the ceiling. She fixed Kylo Ren with her dirtiest glare.

"That's not funny."

Kylo smirked at her and took a step closer. Her navel was nearly eye level with him. "That must depend on the individual I suppose..." He gave her stomach a small push and a smile crossed his lips as she swung back and forth for a few seconds. "For I am finding this to be absolutely hilarious."

Rey closed her eyes and sighed, willing her body to stop moving. "What is it you want?" She asked, feeling more than a little defeated. "How did you even find me here? I wasn't in distress, there was no pleading for my life this time. I don't believe you just  _happened_ to find yourself on Rori the exact same time I was going to be here."

"Of course not." Kylo agreed. "That would be stupid. What would I ever need on  _Rori_?"

"So?"

Kylo shrugged. "You called to me."

"Not this  _again_!" Rey snapped. "There is no  _doshing_  way I called you. I worked incredibly hard to keep you from my thoughts."

"So," Kylo brought his hands up to her hips. Rey hated the way her body shivered under his touch "That  _wasn't_ you who was sending me rather  _suggestive_ images the last few weeks? That  _wasn't_ you who has been calling out to me every single night this week?"

Rey felt her cheeks burn and wished that she could simply cease to exist. She had thought her dreams to be private. "Let me down." She whispered, no longer comfortable with how close Kylo Ren was standing to her immobile body.

"Should I?" He asked, teasing her. "Or is this what you've been wanting this whole time?" His hands moved down her thighs and Rey felt a gasp escape her lips. "You followed me here after all, what else could you be expecting?"

"What are you talking about?" Rey cussed, doing everything she could think of to calm herself down. She didn't want him to see how much he was affecting her.

"The buzzing." His hands dragged down to her knees. Even through her pants, Rey could feel his fingertips burn her skin. "I know you feel it."

"That was  _you_?" Rey's mind was having a hard time coming up responses as Kylo Ren's hand moved further up her leg. She felt her breath catch in her throat and did her best to cover up her signs of arousal. There had been a part of her that had a  _feeling_ that the buzzing had something to do with her and Kylo's connection, but she wasn't about to admit that to him.

Kylo looked up at her with an arched eyebrow. "What did you think it was?"

Rey shook her head, doing, her best to keep her thoughts as shielded as she could. She didn't want Kylo knowing just how affected she was by his touch. "I don't know." She mumbled.

"You are neither stupid, nor slow..." Kylo countered, his hand gripped her firmly at the hip. "You knew." His thumb lazily dragged close along the inner edge of her leg.

Rey swallowed hard. "Let me down." There wasn't as much force behind her words now.

Kylo tilted his head up at her. His mouth was so close to her that she could almost feel his breath on her stomach. His dark eyes gazed up at her and showed that he knew every little thought that was rushing through Rey's head at that moment. Her face immediately flushed at the look of want in his eyes.

"No." He whispered.

Not even waiting a moment for Rey to come up with a reply, Kylo had her legs up over his shoulders in one swift motion and his mouth between her legs. A shutter raked Rey's body as the heat from his mouth engulfed her through her thin linen pants. Breathing immediately became difficult for her. Even though the material that separated them, Kylo's tongue was working furiously on her entrance. His hands griped her hips in a wonderful way that was on the delicate balance between too painful and not painful enough.

"Stop..." She moaned out in such a way that made it was painfully obvious that she wasn't as unwilling of a participant as she would like to come off as. Much to her surprise however, Kylo did just what she asked.

He stopped.

Rey blinked a few times, mainly out of surprise for the sudden ceasing of action. "Wha-"

"Tell me that you want it." Kylo commanded, no teasing on his voice. He ran a finger along her waistband and tugged gently at the knot holding up her pants.

Rey's face burned crimson in indignation. "I would never!"

Kylo raised a single eyebrow at her answer and pulled a little stronger on the tie. The knot came loose and her baggy pants fell down her hips with no help. Kylo lifted her legs from over his shoulder and watched as the pants fell all the way to her ankles. He helped them the rest of the way off.

"No?" He questioned her. He let his hands move up her bare skin painfully slow, savouring the feel. "This is  _not_  what you want?" His long fingers stopped just short of her opening, still covered by her underwear. There was no hiding her arousal anymore. His fingers played with the dampness between her legs. "You  _don't_  want me to continue?"

Rey's silence spoke more to herself than it did to Kylo Ren. He continued to stare her down, one hand teasing her lips through the soft material, the other tracing lazy shapes along the underside of her thighs. She wasn't sure which was having the biggest effect on her. He was waiting. Waiting for her. Waiting for her to bend to his will. Waiting for her desires to overcome her common sense.

"I will leave," Kylo started. "If that is what you truly and honestly want."

With gentle care, he fully removed her underwear and smoothly lifted her legs back up again. Rey hadn't been able to control her breathing from the moment Kylo had begun his  _attack_ , but now she could barely focus on his words. His ministrations were driving ever rational thought out of her head.

"Just say the words." He whispered, a hungry edge on his voice. "Despite what you may think, this is  _your_  choice."

Rey swallowed hard. In that instance, she knew...it really was all up to her. She knew he wasn't lying. His actions may be contradicting his words, but his eyes did not lie to her. He didn't want this to be just something he forced on her. This was no power play. He wanted her, but only if she wanted him too. She could end this whole charade now. She could tell him to stop now and let her down and he really would. He would put back on his helmet, walk out that door and the next time she saw him there would be no kindness to his touch.

That was what she wanted... or that had been what she had wanted. It was what she  _wanted_ to want. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She had had many sleepless nights lately with memories of Csilla ravaging her mind. There were so many things she could blame her answer on. Lust, desire, temptation, a drop in will, a weakness of spirit...but they all amounted to the same thing. She did not want him to leave. She wanted to feel the same connection again and she knew that the only person she would get that with was Kylo Ren.

"Do it." Her answer parted from her lips so softly that she wasn't sure that Kylo had even caught it. That was until that damned smirk came back onto the edges of his lips. All at once Rey hoped that she wouldn't regret her decision.

"Do what?" He pressed, his voice husky and dark. His hands gripped her legs again, anticipating her answer.

"Touch me." She commanded, her voice more demanding now. She wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to hold on.

_*That I can do_.* His words echoed wordlessly in her head.

In an instant, Kylo's mouth was back to her entrance, this time without any of the previous fabric in the way. His tongue moved hard and fast deeply to her core. Waves of pleasure flooded Rey's body and cognitive thoughts became impossible.

Perhaps keeping mental flow hadn't only grown difficult for her, because without any warning her hands fell free of the ceiling. Rey felt herself start to fall back and began to flail for her balance. Without even skipping a beat, Kylo quickly remedied this as he took three quick steps and Rey found her back suddenly pressed hard against the wall.

It didn't take her hands long to find their holding place, wound tightly in Kylo's loose charcoal waves, pulling him in ever closer. If she ever pulled too hard on his hair, Kylo never said a thing, With every touch, every grip Rey found her breathing become more and more laboured. Without ever saying a word, Kylo seemed to know exactly how to touch her. When to go slow, when to speed up, fingers there, tongue here. Her moans echoed in the empty base.

It didn't take long for her orgasm to rake through her entire body. Her back arched and her grip on Kylo's hair pulled sharply as she finished. He went in to taste her again, and Rey nearly broke his nose as she jerked his face away.

"Stop...stop." She pleaded between laboured breaths, her body feeling too sensitive to continue. In an uncharacteristic motion, she smoothed a strand of his hair out of his face in what could almost be called an 'affectionate gesture'. Kylo's eyes widened at the action. "I need...please...let me down."

Obliging, he gently moved away from the wall and unhooked Rey's legs from around his shoulders and back. Instead of putting her feet down on the ground, he moved so that her legs were over one of his arms and her back supported by the other and then sat down on the ground, cradling her. He lightly ran his fingertips along her naked legs in a calming motion as Rey worked to breath normally.

Keeping her face buried in his chest. The folds of his cloak both soothed her as well as made her thoughts drift back to some of her...harder years in Jakku. Years she wouldn't have survived without some compromise. She knew what was expected of her. She began to reach down the waistband of Kylo's pants, only to find herself surprised when Kylo grabbed her hand with his own, forcing her to stop.

"That's not what this is." He whispered, his gaze directed at some invisible spot on the ceiling, avoiding her eyes.

In one horrifying instant, Rey knew that he had fallen witness to her recalled memories just then, whether he had wanted to or not. He was now the only other person who knew of her secrets. Her cheeks burned in painful humiliation as she tried to push away from him. Her past was gone. She had known that ever since she had left Jakku. She had buried the hurt and girl that had been. That wasn't who she was anymore. Now that someone else knew, it meant that that girl still existed. The poor scared girl who needed help and found that it never came without compensation. Kylo's arms held fast.

"That's not you." He whispered against her feeble attempt at a struggle. "It wasn't your fault."

Rey did the only thing she could think of, something she hadn't done in ten years. She cried. She had never told a single soul what she had done in Jakku. She claimed it was in self-preservation, but in reality she just didn't want anyone to judge her. She had made her choices and she knew she had to live with them, but for someone to say it wasn't her fault had opened a flood of emotions that she hadn't even known lived in her.

Kylo held her tight the entire time.

Eventually, Rey calmed down and they both knew that it was time to go. Pulling on her pants, Rey sat back down on the ground watched wordlessly as Kylo straightened his clothes. She still couldn't believe how he had managed to keep on all of his clothes the entire time, the heavy coat included. Rey couldn't help but feel a pang of regret. She may have her issues, but she also remembered the way his body had felt next to hers on that cold night in Csilla. She couldn't help but feel that now he knew about her past, that this would be the last time he sought her out, and for some reason that thought made her sad. Noting her gaze, Kylo turned to her. As if reading her thoughts, and in all likelihood, that was the case, he gave her a smirk.

"Don't worry..." He started. "Next time."

Rey looked up at him. "Next time?"

Kylo crossed the room in two steps and effortlessly lifted her to her feet. His lips were on hers in an instant. The kiss was quick and passionate, stealing her breath in the process and then over before she even realized that it was happening. Leaving her with bruised lips and nothing else.

"There's nowhere in this universe or the next that that you could go where I won't find you." He whispered into her ear before standing to his full height, forcing Rey to look up to keep his gaze. "There will always be a next time." He answered definitely.

As Rey watched him leave, she knew it was true. There was nowhere she could go to escape, or if that was even what she wanted anymore. He confused her with every interaction. Kindness beyond what she had ever experienced, followed immediately by shifts in coldness and aggression. He would tease her on one breath and then threaten her on the next. She was no closer to figuring out why he was so stuck on her, or why she found herself allowing it. There was no denying two thing however...there  _would_  be a next time, and that she didn't hate that idea.


End file.
